It's been so difficult to write productively recently. Most of my recent writing consists of me vomiting my emotions on paper. These past few months have felt unreal, like everyday is the same, but everyday something absolutely insane happens. It feels like a paradox.

Since the pandemic began, I turned 21, graduated college, adopted a cat, and have been living with my boyfriend. Yet, I feel like a depressed bum. I feel paralyzed by so much uncertainty. So much change is happening everyday that I feel like I'm constantly trying to process what happened the day before.

I've learned change and growth is painful, but it can be beautiful. My views on environmental problems has shifted. Before the current civil rights movement, I understood that there was a relationship between racial and environmental justice, but I now understand that they are literally the same thing. Many environmental atrocities throughout history have occurred in communities of color— causing genocide. Therefore the proper acknowledgment of all people minimizes the places that can be considered "disposable" by some. The way we're moving forward recognizes that we are all connected, what hurts you, hurts me.

We need to continue this fight, not by protesting what we hate, but making our desired future a reality. Now, this is extremely hard considering it's hard to think what I will be doing tomorrow. But thinking positively day by day still works. The point is to increase the amount of conversations around the world discussing what we would like to see in the future.

For example, during the beginning of the pandemic, it was absolutely insane that the Bay Area did not have traffic during rush hour and you could see across the bay clearly. I really liked seeing that. It makes me think if people can work from home, why stop them? I understand that not everyone can, but how can we decrease the amount of people that commute by car every single day. Similarly, I'd like to see people buying experiences and services rather than physical objects that accumulate very easily. I'd like to see toxic waste and pollution out BIPOC communities. I'd like to stop the rhetoric that there are tradeoffs between a group's health and livelihood and the economy flourishing. I'd like to see less judgement and more compassion among one another— we need to stop yelling at walls and speak the same language.

I'd like to see more motivation, hope, and courage to guide us forward.